i am the kind of person where....if you steer me in the right direction, then i will follow, but if you steer me in the wrong direction, i will follow too.

that is why, i think it is important for me to choose the right circle of friends. in the past, especially when i was settling down in NZ, i have come across many different kind of friends. friends who are irresponsible but they'll do whatever to help you, friends who are very nice but too quiet for me, friends who will be there for you no matter what but perhaps are hypocrites?

i am not saying that i do not have good friends. i thank God each and everyday for putting each and everyone of you in my life. but sometimes, there are a couple of sour grapes in a whole bunch. you see, i am not exactly a person full of angst. to make me not want to talk to you, you must have done something incredibly terrible to me or to someone dear to me..

throughout my whole life, i have always told myself to let everyone have a few chances. if they do it once, let them try again. if they hurt me another time, forgive them. and again and again and again. but then, i'm only human, and i can only take that much. and when it comes to that point, enough is enough. and that is when i will cut you out of my life totally.

i really dont know where this entry is going or what my point is, but i just felt like blogging and let something off my chest..so if you dont want to read on, it's ok :)

in the past, i have only ignored TWO persons. a friend who took advantage of me being nice, and another person who betrayed my trust. i have forgiven that friend, and we are now on talking terms again. we're not as close as we used to be, but it's ok. at the very least, we are talking. the second person, i am still trying to come to terms with. i know it's in the past, and what she did has nothing to do with me now, but betraying my trust and making me empty promises is really a bad thing. i'm still thinking about it, and will pray about it, but things like that takes time...

now, there's another person that i want to mention. but i dont know what the situation is like. one day it's like that, and another day it's like that. it's such a confusing situation. i've asked around for opinions, and they said to just ignore this person. afterall, what's the point right? so i'm in a dilemma now. i dont know whether to listen to their advise, or go against myself and them and do the opposite. i really dont know....but i think for the time being, i'll leave it as it is...

however...there are still unresolved things. things which are quite important to me..oh i dont know..maybe i should discuss it with mummy dearest and see what she says about it. but i know her answer already...so again, i'll have to pray about it.

i'm such a soft-hearted person -_- it's so easy to take advantage of me...i should really learn to say no sometimes, and keep to it. oh well..only time will tell how much i've learned.

anyway, that's the end of the rant. i need to sleep now coz the caffeine has FINALLY worn out, and i'm starting to feel like myself again.

tip of the day: if you're hyper and there's way too much caffeine in your body, let a bee in to your house and run around until you're worn out :p i'm sorry, i'm very random, but hey, that was what happened to me this afternoon ok..